This is one of those weeks I wish I could hit fast forward, and in an instant make it go by. But life doesn't work like that, so instead it will be one of those weeks where I pull out all the strength I have within me, and survive. It promises to be a week full of emotions, appointments (two down today, though), tests, results, trips to Winchester (two today). But in all honesty, it's been a while since we've had a week like this, so it makes me realize just how much I do appreciate the "boring" weeks we often have.
A few weeks ago Brenden noticed a picture that's been on the fridge for a really long time. It was one taken when he was at Kluge after he was born. He was laying on my chest, sleeping. But right away he noticed the tube in his nose. So in true Brenden fashion, he asked question after question. I was brief with my answers, but answered truthfully. Then last night, he asked again about "that picture where he had something down his nose." So as we sat on the floor, I told him all about (in kids terms, of course) his NICU stay, his surgery, how it took him almost a month to eat (which he laughed hysterically about), and how we never thought we'd get him home. He asked lots of questions, like did anyone hold him, who came to visit him, what his nurses names were, etc., etc., etc. He was a bit confused as to why Madelynn didn't come visit him, though.
As I think back to describing that first month to him, it hit me that it was almost 4 years ago.....um, where has time gone?!?! In so many ways it feels like just yesterday, but realization of just how far he has come makes it a distant memory. God has blessed us and kept Brenden out of the hospital for almost 17 months now...so long that I almost forget what it's like to sleep in one of those big blue chairs.
We've had a tough year figuring Brenden out. Behavior issues and sleep issues seem to be running our lives now, and I try so incredibly hard in those moments of frustration to remember the fear of losing him so long ago and just be thankful that he's with us. But at times it's difficult, I'm only human, who is lacking sleep :). Today, as I was discussing some of these frustrations with Brenden's OT, she said, "Ya know, though, Brenden can do a lot of things that many of my other SB patients can't do. We can never set the bar too high for him, because even from one week to the next, he accomplishes something new." It was a much needed reminder.
I kinda forget where I was going with this post....but something along the lines that despite the week that lies ahead, I know we will pull through. We have so much to be thankful for, regardless how trying it may seem.